The Sepsis of Superfluous and Extravagant Phraseology in Contemporary Composition

Thilo Widder, Reporter

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As of late, our wonderful fellowship of wordsmiths has been infected with a contagion of unwarranted and nonessential manipulation of characters. The injection of extra words in articles has diluted the substance of all veritable compositions.This exaggerated writing style will mark the termination of any remotely enthralling conviction or abstraction shared through media. Superfluous writing is absolutely a stiff malefactor in the days to come.

The origin of this atrocious shift is shrouded in obscurity, but it can be attributed to these new-age, a la mode orators, who have adjudicated that voluminous words means more sizable, enticing stipend. For this, we can primarily condemn the libel of the doltish writers we inspire with our own showpieces of more inspiring wit.

Now, the premier path to reclaiming the art of composition from these ingrateful, snivelling, pompous charlatans is truly fruitful. Those who cannot accomplish the resplendent appeal of compositions lacking elaborate syntax or percipience of dactyls and spondees. We must catechize the youth to show them the inherent beauty that can be ascertained through pure grit and labor. The future is in the adolescent and the juvenile, with the immature and the moldable. These ruffians must not infect the lifeblood of our democracy and our human relations. This is a growing sepsis. It is a cyst. And it is time we endeavor to address this challenge. It is analogous to a quagmire. The longer we bide, the farther we are submerged in the abyss that threatens to annihilate our art of using our silver tongues. We must pugnate and oppose those who oppose us. This is our casus belli. We will not retreat. We will not surrender. Simple writing will be prolonged through our lack of extenuating adjectives or appositives.

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